Wednesday, 01 July 2009

• Currently Gran Torino (Widescreen Edition) By Clint Eastwood, Brian Haley, Christopher Carley, Geraldine Hughes see related

  He is no fool...

  "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

  Not sure what I want to blog about today... but I noticed that my friends' leaving Calgary happened simultaneously with the weather suddenly becoming very windy, the sky becoming overcast, and a light rain starting to sweep the roads. I'm reminded that God wants us to have the fullness of life--both the ups and the downs. I think that when the days are bright, it's easy to pursue happiness unto bliss, and we forget where it all comes from. But when the day is moody, like today, perhaps it's like a small reminder that we need Him who is above us. He's the one who can provide the love and affection that I need.
  
  "You know more about death than you do living" - Father Padre, in Gran Torino
  
  I certainly feel unfulfilled sometimes. There's always another conversation to be had. There's honesty that was missing. There are emotions that were not dealt with, affection that was not communicated, sadness that was hidden. But I know I'm living, exactly because I have these longings.
  In fact, a few weeks ago, while I still distracted myself, I at once found the boon and the curse of doing so: not feeling these painful silent moments, and also not feeling any significantly happy moments... not feeling anything at all.
  
  Yup, after feeling the grey skies take their toll today, an impromptu trio of us watched Gran Torino at my house. It was so honest, so straight-to-the-point, and extremely sad... all we were left with was a lingering tune and a nostalgic feeling that we had just lost something very important. I think Jesus' death was that sad too. And that sadness is approximately half the point.
  
  

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