The blank page to a writer
Is like an immaculate room to a lonely man--
It must be filled with love.
--A future writer(?)
To paraphrase an aphorism from Pastor Trickey's sermon this last Sunday,
Sometimes faith looks pious,
Sometimes faith looks like doubt,
Sometimes faith looks like death.
To which I thought,
wow, my faith right now is to look upon my own death, and expect revival. Of course, Trickey was talking about how Thomas' doubts of Jesus were in fact an honest faith -- A message which I appreciated -- but it was too late, my thoughts were scattered a million miles away. How, I wondered, would God use my next four years in college? Would I find success in the writing program?
I tuned in again to the sermon in time to hear about religious experiences. Some people have phenomenal experiences, where they feel God's presence, or interact with Him in some way. Thomas wasn't in the (locked) room when Jesus first appeared to the disciples after his death, and perhaps that is why Thomas wasn't able to assuage his doubts (at least until Jesus appeared again later). But what about for the rest of us who haven't witnessed extraordinary moments where God is present? Fortunately for us, there are accessible experiences that we can grab hold of. These experiences occur in three ways: forgiveness, trust, and love.
Wow. Of course!! Days come and days go, I rise and I fall, and still, the only times that sparkle in my memory are those where I choose to love people.
Last week, I was thinking of inviting Angie, James, and Chowder over for dinner. Right as I got off the Bus and was walking through the concrete and steel jungle of the parking lot, I looked at myself and remembered a passage we studied a few weeks prior:
"When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid." - Luke 12
So I invited Terence, someone who was more on the fringes of ASK's social circle. And you know what? We had one of the funnest nights I'd had all month. I remembered that God sent us out to the weak and the meek to give them the good news, and that this God said "the last shall be first."
This message has been echoed all throughout my journey with God. I have experienced so much joy this year as Jesus has affirmed my passion for loving students on campus.
Sure, it sounds overly-dramatic to say that I am dying to this season of my life. But Easter has taught me that believers in Christ view death as an end, and a beginning. It is the precursor to rebirth. The warmth of Spring too, has made me think that perhaps, it is my time to grow up even more to display the grace of God.
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