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Wednesday, 01 July 2009

  • Currently
    Gran Torino (Widescreen Edition)
    By Clint Eastwood, Brian Haley, Christopher Carley, Geraldine Hughes
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    He is no fool...

    "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." - Jim Elliot

    Not sure what I want to blog about today... but I noticed that my friends' leaving Calgary happened simultaneously with the weather suddenly becoming very windy, the sky becoming overcast, and a light rain starting to sweep the roads. I'm reminded that God wants us to have the fullness of life--both the ups and the downs. I think that when the days are bright, it's easy to pursue happiness unto bliss, and we forget where it all comes from. But when the day is moody, like today, perhaps it's like a small reminder that we need Him who is above us. He's the one who can provide the love and affection that I need.

    "You know more about death than you do living" - Father Padre, in Gran Torino

    I certainly feel unfulfilled sometimes. There's always another conversation to be had. There's honesty that was missing. There are emotions that were not dealt with, affection that was not communicated, sadness that was hidden. But I know I'm living, exactly because I have these longings.
    In fact, a few weeks ago, while I still distracted myself, I at once found the boon and the curse of doing so: not feeling these painful silent moments, and also not feeling any significantly happy moments... not feeling anything at all.

    Yup, after feeling the grey skies take their toll today, an impromptu trio of us watched Gran Torino at my house. It was so honest, so straight-to-the-point, and extremely sad... all we were left with was a lingering tune and a nostalgic feeling that we had just lost something very important. I think Jesus' death was that sad too. And that sadness is approximately half the point.

Monday, 22 June 2009

Saturday, 13 June 2009

  • I'm not eloquent, I'm not sensitive, I'm not wise,
    I'm not relevant, I'm not tough, I'm not cool,

    I want to absolve myself of all of these expectations and be a servant of Christ!

Monday, 20 April 2009

  • IV Fundraiser Sharing - April 27, 2008

                My name is Gary, I’m 22 years old, and I’ve been a part of Asian Students on Kampus (ASK) for about 4 years now, at the University of Alberta. ASK is a chapter focused on bringing the gospel to Asian Canadians on campus.

    I said ‘yes’ to doing this speech, mostly because I am eternally grateful to several people – instruments of God, really – who just happened to be within the vibrant community of IVCF. I mean, let me tell you, these are people who will look you in the eye, and say, “Hey Gary, wanna have dinner?” Well, shy as I was, back then, even I couldn’t say no to a pretty girl offering to cook for me. Only, next thing I knew, she was knocking on my door, asking me out… to a bible study. Bear in mind, I wasn’t Christian at all at that point. And there are these ‘coffees’, where we somehow attended to meaningful topics like ‘love’, ‘purpose’, and ‘service’. Before I realized, I was standing at the Urbana missions conference, in front of a frenetic speaker, committing myself to Jesus, committing myself to standing up for the Gospel to be lived out and spread to your generation.

                Some would call this “launching leaders”, and my personal experience is that it’s like strapping a student to an ignited rocket, watching it lift off, and yelling after them, “God is your parachute!” Who wouldn’t want to be put on a trip of facing their mortal fears and risking their lives?

     

                Well, I did a lot of sightseeing during the ride. I saw and felt things that I never thought I would. The story of how my life has been irreversibly altered goes like this: as a naïve first year student, I counted on going in to university, studying like mad, obtaining an engineering degree, followed by picking up a secure job (that I would eventually come to enjoy). I certainly felt a lot of high expectations from my parents, which I couldn’t understand or match with my own motivation. My blueprint for life was a simple straight line.

                What changed? I saw a glimpse of the ridiculous love in the hearts of students who otherwise were very much like myself. I may claim to be kind, but on one night after watching the Flames on their Stanley cup run at a ridiculous downtown restaurant called Bob the Fish, a group of us came across a homeless woman who asked us for change, which we gave her, along with nearly an hour of our time. I was so surprised to see us talk to her about her life problems, and we saw the rough and the tender parts of what it meant to live on the streets as an ex-prostitute. We even prayed for her, despite her initial hesitancy, and she shed many tears.

                I saw this same love on campus in students who chose to value others over themselves, and lived this out by spending more of their passion and energy on people, rather than their degrees.

                I saw that this same love was available to myself, something my desire for approval from others and my insecurities had blinded me to. It happened when I was canoeing in early May, on beautiful Crimson Lake. My mentor of one full year hence had jumped on the opportunity to canoe together and have a focused chat. Of course, we were thwarted by a neighbouring boat, commandeered by Jon Lim, which wanted to ram us. Being ex-nice Asian Kids, we fought it out, trying to out-row them, out-manoeuvre them; at one point we were side by side, and I reached over to grab their tail end. Yes, I repaid my mentor’s good intentions fully by promptly tipping our canoe over into the picturesque, ice-cold lake. People yelled for help, we were rescued, and my eyes were opened, for the first time, to the way the community came together to drag me out of the lake, usher me into a hot shower, hand me a change of underwear, wrap me up like a cocoon, and sit me by the fire with hot chocolate in hand. I may haphazardly chase after God sometimes, but it’s only because I’ve learned that he blesses us more when our faith leads to mistakes and shortcomings, than when our fears keep us on the straight-line path.

     

                I came to the University of Alberta four years ago, and truthfully, it’s with a heavy heart that I’m leaving, two days from now, without any degree at all, only a soured transcript. Have I wasted four years of my life? I’m led to believe, not just by optimistic thinking, that I have found something much better. Through the bugle call of the student leaders before me, I was able to open my eyes to God’s desire to love his sheep. My calloused, self-obsessed heart is softened when I am reminded to love others the way I have been loved. I am more confident, deeper in joy and sadness, and I believe I’ve gained a passion for investing in students. I’ve been impacted greatly by IVCF, so I can only say, “Thank You.”

  • Currently
    Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, a Young Man, and Life's Greatest Lesson
    By Mitch Albom
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    The Return of the Writer.

    The blank page to a writer
    Is like an immaculate room to a lonely man--
    It must be filled with love.
    --A future writer(?)


    To paraphrase an aphorism from Pastor Trickey's sermon this last Sunday,
         Sometimes faith looks pious,
         Sometimes faith looks like doubt,
         Sometimes faith looks like death.

    To which I thought, wow, my faith right now is to look upon my own death, and expect revival. Of course, Trickey was talking about how Thomas' doubts of Jesus were in fact an honest faith -- A message which I appreciated -- but it was too late, my thoughts were scattered a million miles away. How, I wondered, would God use my next four years in college? Would I find success in the writing program?

    I tuned in again to the sermon in time to hear about religious experiences. Some people have phenomenal experiences, where they feel God's presence, or interact with Him in some way. Thomas wasn't in the (locked) room when Jesus first appeared to the disciples after his death, and perhaps that is why Thomas wasn't able to assuage his doubts (at least until Jesus appeared again later). But what about for the rest of us who haven't witnessed extraordinary moments where God is present? Fortunately for us, there are accessible experiences that we can grab hold of. These experiences occur in three ways: forgiveness, trust, and love.

    Wow. Of course!! Days come and days go, I rise and I fall, and still, the only times that sparkle in my memory are those where I choose to love people.
    Last week, I was thinking of inviting Angie, James, and Chowder over for dinner. Right as I got off the Bus and was walking through the concrete and steel jungle of the parking lot, I looked at myself and remembered a passage we studied a few weeks prior:
    "When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid." - Luke 12
    So I invited Terence, someone who was more on the fringes of ASK's social circle. And you know what? We had one of the funnest nights I'd had all month. I remembered that God sent us out to the weak and the meek to give them the good news, and that this God said "the last shall be first."
    This message has been echoed all throughout my journey with God. I have experienced so much joy this year as Jesus has affirmed my passion for loving students on campus.

    Sure, it sounds overly-dramatic to say that I am dying to this season of my life. But Easter has taught me that believers in Christ view death as an end, and a beginning. It is the precursor to rebirth. The warmth of Spring too, has made me think that perhaps, it is my time to grow up even more to display the grace of God.

HeIsTheMakness

  • Visit HeIsTheMakness's Xanga Site
    • Name: Gary
    • Country: Canada
    • Metro: Calgary
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 7/3/2006

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